A Hopeless Romantic In Paris

Will I make it to Paris or not?  That is the question.  For am I to save the money, or wallow in a failed attempt?  Cross the world for a nice week of relaxing, or relax at home in my boxers?  Am I to...alright, I think the Shakespeare gag is running out of steam now, so I'll get down to the chase.

After days of calling, I finally reached my brother today and laid down the good and the bad of the trip.  November 28th/29th is coming up fast, and we'll need to buy tickets soon.  Amazingly, the tickets are still dropping!  I'm not sure if the Greek stock market crash has anything to do with this, but I thought for sure the prices would have gone up by now.

Turns out they haven't.

I'm still not sure that we can count on them to go down much more, but a round-way plane ticket to Paris is now costing less than $800!  That's WAY below the $1,450 I was budging for!  That said...I'm just a wee bit shy of that.  By about $100 or so.  Frustrating.  On the other hand, I made over $130 online today alone.  I made over $50 this weekend.  By the time they clear into the bank, I may have the money.  Victor said that he'd even help if he could.  That's nice of him, but I told him no.  Unless it was a real small amount that would be easy to pay back relatively quickly, I don't want there to be money issues between us.

We're finally acting like real brothers do, and it would be a shame if money were to mess that all up again.  I admit that there is a part of me that wants to throw in the towel at this point, admit that I missed the mark by that much, and move on.

But I can't.

Not yet anyway.  I really do want to go on this trip.  If ever there was a time where a relaxing trip was needed, this would be it.  I think I'm also feeling a little more anxious these days.  Like...I don't know, life feels much shorter than it did last year, and I don't want to waste that time.  Granted, I've had a good life.  I've been to Japan.  I've visited five of the major animation studios (including Pixar, the week before last).  I've seen some of the classic movies.  Experienced theater.  Have met famous people.  I don't think I can be accused of wasting away.  I want a girlfriend and eventually wife, and it's so damn frustrating none of the girls I meet can see what a great guy I am, and that they should consider themselves damn lucky if I take an interest in them (sounds egotistical, but its not).

Unlike most people who want to be in a relationship though, I haven't put my life on hold just because I don't have one.  I've been living my life because there are things to see and do.  If I was to get a girlfriend next year, this would probably be one of the last major trips I take on my own.  Am I expecting that to happen?  Heck no.  Again, I've met lots of girls - good girls too, by the way - who passed me up because they couldn't see what a good thing they had in front of them.  But I've lost a few people this year.  Someone close to me died in the worst way possible.  Now more than ever I don't want to sit around and do nothing. So while the trip to Paris is (as Bon Jovi would say) living on a prayer, it's not something I want to give up just yet.